Joke of Yesterdays

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Joke of Yesterdays

Postby red523rd » Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:38 am

Yesterday, I was at the HEB supermarket buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Twinkie, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So, because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified). So,it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Better watch what you ask a Vet people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

HEB won't let me shop there anymore.
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Re: Joke of Yesterdays

Postby 26029990 » Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:44 am

GOOD ONE BANTY ROOSTER................ :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
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Re: Joke of Yesterdays

Postby landoliver » Sun Sep 29, 2013 7:46 am

go back to bed wildhogman said that
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Re: Joke of Yesterdays

Postby 26029990 » Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:28 pm

HOGS ASS, YOULL BE GETTING CARDS :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :roll: , HOW MANY YOU WANT...............
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